A lot of times people think that confidence is something that you're born with. We may think that there are confident people and there are people who will never be confident. However, the truth of the matter - this just isn't true. Confidence is actually a skillset. It is something that you can develop, grow, and nurture. Studies show us that pretending to be confident and enacting the traits of confidence can turn around and actually create true confidence in ourselves.
This said, keep in mind that the opposite works as well. When you believe you are good at something you often relax aren't anxious and tackle that task or situation with a better mindset. In doing so you often create a more positive outcome and solution.
Alternatively, when you believe you aren't good at something when you are confident about it and you don't go into it with a good mindset the opposite can happen. You can make yourself nervous, frustrated, upset and all of this emotion deter from a good outcome, therefore, producing a negative result end giving the illusion that we knew this is going to be the outcome no matter how hard we tried.
We know one solution - get better at that skill and then gain confidence as we become more sure of ourselves. Also, keep in mind, the snowball effect of emotions and negative self-talk. Sometimes you'll enter a situation that you aren't confident about and don't have time to prepare for, so what now? Now...pretend that you are confident. Keep in mind, confident feelings can become a self-fulfilling prophecy as they turn into confident actions or actions lacking confidence. When you are in an uncomfortable situation, try to talk yourself into a calm and easy state of mind. Tell yourself that you are going to do great, that you aren't intimidated, that this is going to be fun...when you face going outside your comfort zone and keep your emotions in check, the situation will almost always turn out far better.
All in all, it's clear that building confidence tackling the situation in a confident manner and has a major impact on your life in every area and your overall happiness. This is why we are going to hone in on the ways to build self-confidence.
Below are five ways in which you can build your self-confidence.
1. Act as If
This essentially is the process of Faking it till you make it. Just simply means that showcasing confidence comes down to a number of different actions that you can replicate. For example, hold your shoulders back hold your head high speak loudly and clearly look people in the eye don't hesitate, smile when going to a situation with a relaxed attitude. From afar all of these actions make it look as if you are fully confident. The best thing is acting this way the feelings of confidence on the inside can actually begin to grow and flourish. Again we discuss how I've been confident usually ends up creating a better outcome, therefore going into a situation confidently, even if it's fake the outcome will most likely be better. It's worth a try!
2. Positive self-talk
Now that we discuss the things you can do on the outside in order to look confident and also hoping that it'll translate to the inside and make you feel confident it's also important to work from the inside out. Remember self-talk is powerful. telling yourself you can't do something will typically become a self-fulfilling prophecy. this is why I again your internal voice needs to flip it needs to stay positive. Tell yourself the ideal tell yourself you're wonderful at the skill to tell yourself you're going to blow it out of the park remind yourself over and over the things you are wonderful at and tell yourself this too is going to be something you are going to be wonderful at. Making a resolute make it so that it's not something up for debate in your mental self-talk. You are dead 10 steps closer to achieving that goal then you would be if you had to jump over the hurdles of your negative self-talk your doubt and your fear every time you went into the situation.
3. Positive self-image
Similar to positive self-talk you also need to focus on a positive self-image. In a particular situation, you are trying to gain confidence and this mans actually visualizing yourself achieving this goal. After all, if you pretend to be confident the picture in your head needs to create a visual of yourself continuing to portray that same confidence with the same gusto that you truly need to in order to grow this enactment into actual organic feelings of confidence.
Visualize yourself winning the prize visualize yourself as a confident person who has achieved the goal you were looking to achieve get that picture clear in your mind and you were that much closer to actually achieving that goal.
4. Planning & Preparation
Remember that there is a difference between a dream and a goal the Dream is something that you wish it's something that you think about fondly when someone asks what you would do with the million-dollar it's something that you romanticize. A goal, however, it's something you are taking actionable steps worth reaching.
This is why it's so important to actually create a roadmap to reaching your goals. There are numerous studies that prove that you're more likely to achieve a goal that you've written down. You're more likely to achieve a goal that you have set actual steps and actual time frames in order to achieve. This is not to say you were going to meet every single time frame that you spell out however, it does mean that you are constantly working on bite-size chunks of that goal and getting closer and closer while the person who is still simply dreaming about it is making no progress. When you want to gain confidence in the situation it is important to sit down and map out your plan. you also are going to eventually need to develop a true skill in the area that you are looking to achieve your goal the preparation is necessary. What tools do you need to achieve your goal? What research do you need to do? Who is good at this already who you can talk to and learn from.
Remember the 6 P's of Excellence: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.
5. Improve Your Performance
This is where the rubber meets the road. Once you have done all expense for things above you have proper plans you have put into place your actions and steps towards getting the knowledge and expertise that you need in order to be confident in the goal you are tackling when you are acting as if engaging in positive self-talk we should now begin to see your skills growing. As your skills grow your confidence will be able to follow suit. Now we're not saying that confidence alone will make you successful in every situation. It does take hard work in order to gain a new skill. It is important to practice the thing that you are trying to gain confidence in. Research, prepare and practice over and over to grow and improve your skill and this alone will improve your confidence.
What are some examples of times you've reigned in your emotions and kept control even when you weren't confident?
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